..and you feel like apologising for it.
Seriously, I want to say sorry for the post I wrote last week. It isn’t usually my thing to write posts like that on here (I usually reserve my bouts of inadequacy and self loathing for Tumblr), but I was having one of those moments and it showed.
I had thought about deleting the post, but I then decided that it would be better keeping it as a reminder of why I use this blog in the first place. For that I have to thank the people who commented on it. Reading back what they said pretty much highlighted to me just how I came across in it. In all the time I have blogged, here and elsewhere I have never really cared if I had people reading this or not. In a lot of cases, I have blogged hoping that nobody would ever read my rants and ramblings. Yet in my last post it sounded like it did matter to me how many readers I got. If this was someone else’s post I was reading I would have regarded them as an idiot. Indeed, I regard myself as an idiot for writing such things in it.
What the comments on that post really did do for me was remind me why I blog and why many others do it. We use it as a place to sound off, to express our views, try out ideas and share things that interest us. We don’t set a time to do it, or a target (however things like post a week/day are good for encouraging you to write more), we do it when we feel like it. If someone happens to stumble upon it, read it and like it, then that’s good, but it isn’t why we write blogs. If it was, then blogging would feel more like a job than the hobby it is. Ultimately we blog and write in general, for ourselves, and we do it because we enjoy it. And if it sounds like a pile of crap, so what? It is ours and we can write what we bloody well like in it.
I very nearly lost sight of this.