At the time of writing this, I am four days away from having a job interview. An interview with a big company, for something that I have long wanted to do, in an industry I’ve long wanted to get into.
I’m excited, but also nervous. And scared. Very scared.
It’s not just an interview I face. There will be two assessments I have to do, one being a group exercise, which is making me more nervous than I would be any other time. I know, I should be able to get through that part by now, seeing as I encounter strangers practically every day as part of my current job and everybody else will be in the same boat as me anyway. It’s just that even now, I still find it awkward working with people I don’t know, engaging with them and stuff. I fear I’ll clam up, sit there and feel like an utter idiot while everyone else is coming up with these amazing ideas. I feel like I’ll do the same when the actual interview happens, or I’ll stumble over my words, forget everything I want to say or say something completely stupid. I’ll either walk out of the building with pride and feeling like I have done enough, or dawdle out of it feeling ready to fall into the nearest hole. I fear the latter.
And yet, I should be happy that I got to this stage. Granted I would have been happy just to get as far as the first stage of my application. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy that I got an interview, it is just that as it has got nearer and I have found out exactly what it will entail, it’s just becoming all too real. It’s great, but it’s also utterly nerve-wracking. You’re on the one hand ecstatic while on the other you’re crapping yourself. Like the feeling I’ve had before every interview, but about ten times more scary.
I’m hoping that in a few days time I’ll look at this post and call myself daft for writing it. But more importantly, I’m hoping to get to my interview without getting lost.