Those days following Christmas Day and Boxing Day always feel weird. The first day back at work seems to go as slow as anything and it’s hard to adjust and remember exactly what day of the week it is. Normally, I’m ok with it, but this year I seem particularly bad. I woke up this morning at about 4:50am and struggled to get to proper sleep again (I usually get up for work just before 7am). All through the morning I felt tired and found it hard to concentrate. When I did come home in the afternoon all I wanted to do was sleep (at least today was my half day). I didn’t want to do anything else at all.
It’s not just today that it’s happened. It’s happened to me a lot in the last six months. I feel tired and devoid of energy. It’s a struggle sometimes to get up and do things. On days off I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything apart from stay in bed. As for work, I try and manage, but sometimes I find myself struggling to focus on what I’m doing. Often it feels like I’m doing too many things at once. It doesn’t help when it often feels like you’re the only one in the workplace (and a lot of time it is just me and my boss). It also doesn’t help when you feel that your manager doesn’t really want to know or give you any support, as illustrated by their body language and how abrupt they are with you when you even try and talk to them. It’s got to the point that I want to hand in my notice, but I don’t have another job to go to. I’ve applied for stuff in the last few months, only for them to come to nothing. One never even bothered to tell me that I hadn’t been shortlisted.
Everyone says I should hold on until I’ve got something else, but I don’t know how much longer I can. I’ve been down about my job a few times over the years, but not like this.