Pigeon crap.

This morning I turned up to work to find a load of pigeons hovering above it. There’s often one or two sitting on the roof between my workplace and the takeaway next door, but this time there must have been at least eight of them.

They all landed on the ground as I went to open up. They started pecking at the floor. It was then I noticed that the ground around me was covered in breadcrumbs and that the person dropping them was in the flat above the takeaway.

Needless to say, I was pissed off.

Here was this individual, leaning out of their window, throwing huge wads of breadcrumbs to a bunch of feathered rats with wings. To do it anywhere would be stupid but YOU LIVE ABOVE A TAKEAWAY! YOU KNOW, A PLACE THAT SELLS FOOD! AND PIGEONS ARE A FUCKING HEALTH HAZARD! I’m sure the owners of the aforementioned establishment would rather you not encourage the little shitting machines to hang out at their place. I would also rather not have them around either, seeing as the last time someone attracted a bunch of them to there they made a nest in a hole in the takeaway’s shop sign and crapped everywhere. You’d come to work in the morning and the ground would be covered in pigeon shit as well as all over the padlock for the electric shutter panel. Yours truly had to unlock it nearly every day holding it with a tissue and sterilise it the moment I got inside. At the end of the day, you’d be closing up trying to avoid one of the little blighters dropping one on you (they dropped one on my hand as I was putting the shutters down twice. Another colleague just missed getting it in their eye).

I’m not a violent person by any means, but I see that person trying to feed the birds again I will tie them to the roof and let the flying vermin eat off them and shit all over them.

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Scorchio.

There’s a heatwave over here at the moment and like many people, I can’t handle it. I mean, this is not the kind of weather we are used to getting. Even when we get over a week of it we’re not used to it. The longer it lasts, the more I want it to rain hard. No doubt this hot spell will end in a raging thunderstorm like it nearly always does (they’re already forecasting it). In the meantime, all we can do is keep hydrated, as cool as possible and avoid getting sunburn as best we can.

Oh and also resist the urge to hide out in a walk in freezer because that rarely ends well.

Spotified: April and (the start of) May

I came on here to write another thing, but I forgot what it was, so I thought I’d do that thing I do every now and again where I make a spotify playlist and share it. Here’s the latest one I put together. Includes a winner of The Voice, a few legends, a couple of legends in the making and stuff that reminds me of my student days, among other things.

The playlist will probably get bigger as I go along, which means I might end up renaming it again at some point. Feel free to keep coming back to it and/or follow it if you like.

 

 

The will of the people.

Last  night I was once again debating whether to carry on with this blog or allow it to drift away into cyberspace. I ended up asking Twitter to help with my decision, using the poll function and the result was 100% that I should keep going. Cheers to the five people who voted, by the way. I’m not sure who you are because twitter doesn’t give those stats but I appreciate you for doing so.

OK, so after deciding to go with the will of the people I am now trying to work out how to make it a bit better. I’ve been doing a bit of maintenance over the last day, including getting rid of some of the old blogs I don’t use any more (most of these cropped up when I was struggling for ideas for this one).  For the first time I’ve been thinking about the direction I should take with this blog. In the beginning when I first started this I wasn’t too bothered about concentrating on any particular theme apart from everything that interested me and/or came into my head when I wrote it, but now I’m wondering whether to leave certain things out and put more focus on posts about others.

I’ve already thought about cutting back on the more personal posts. I never really intended this to be a moanathon about the crapness of my life because I wanted to look like I enjoy writing, but I realised that the worse writers’ block I had the more I strayed into that territory. I will probably end up looking back on nine years worth of posts (yes I have been on here that long) in order to decide what else to post more and scale back on. Any other suggestions from readers are most welcome.

Anyway, enough of this rambling, I’m off to find out who Balaclava Man is. (Line of Duty reference. Don’t tell me you haven’t been watching, unless you’re not in the UK).

Things I mean to keep telling myself.

Log off Twitter. Forget Facebook. Put down your phone. Leave your computer alone. Turn off your TV. Stop reading the news. Go outside. Read more books. Visit a museum. Spend real time with friends and family. Reject the things that make you feel down. Embrace the things that make you feel good. Trust your own judgement. Don’t be afraid to look for support. Know that it’s okay to not be okay. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. Keep negative people at arm’s length. Stop overthinking things. Fearing the worst makes the worst more likely. Make new memories. Make the kind of memories that you can’t share on Instagram. Know that you are not your thoughts – or anyone else’s. Be the best person that you can be.

Remember that everyone is basically good and that good will always overcome bad.

Everything will be fine. Really.

 

36

I turned 36 last week. It’s been twenty years since I did my GCSEs. Twenty years since I said goodbye (and to an extent, good riddance) to high school and said hello to sixth form college and A Levels. And some of the songs and albums I fell in love with as a sixteen year old celebrate their twentieth anniversary this year.

It’s at this point that I really am feeling my age and I am cursing myself for edging another year closer to the 40 mark. But while the music that soundtracked my revision sessions may have veered its way into adulthood (I was revising in between listening to them, honest), they still sound as though they were only released yesterday, never mind in 1997. Take Mansun’s Attack of the Grey Lantern for instance, released on the 17th February 1997 and still sounds as fresh now as it did then. In fact Wide Open Space could probably be released today and be a hit. That said, it’s probably too sophisticated and out there for some of the kids today, but then Mansun weren’t like a lot of the bands around in the mid to late nineties and they certainly didn’t fit the Britpop mould either.

It’s weird how the nineties are becoming “in” again, isn’t it? I suppose for the people who were young kids in the nineties, it’s cool. For those of us who were teens and young adults in that decade, well it’s still cool but we find it difficult to believe that the nineties are considered retro now. Some of us even refuse to accept it’s so because it only feels like five minutes ago the nineties happened.

Anyway, I’m rambling now so I’m off for a lie down.

 

Five Year Plan

Now and again there are people who will ask you “Where do you see yourself in five years time?” Five years? I don’t see myself in five days time never mind five years.

And yet, there are some people who have it all planned out. They have an idea what they want to do, where they want to be, and how they are going to get it. They list out all their goals, when they are going to achieve them by, crossing them out as each achievement is unlocked. Until they hit a snag, and they start all over again. Their hard work undone by something they could not have forseen.

It’s good to make plans for the future, but I find that some things are better off not being planned in advance. I have dreams, and things that I want to achieve in life, just like everyone else, but I’ve found that spending a whole evening planning out how to achieve it is a waste of time, because you never know what will happen in between.