Every now and again, you may find yourself, in a random moment, thinking to yourself, “WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
I’ve had many a moment recently where I’ve been thinking this about myself. And I still don’t know the answer. I am, however, able to identify the possible ones. Like a multiple choice question, that would probably comprise of about eight options. I will update this when I find out.
For reasons that I won’t go into a lot of detail on here, I am looking for another job. I have said in the past that was going to look for one and never really acted on it. Well I really am this time.
I’ve been spending time every day on the job search. I’ve worked on my CV, I’ve uploaded it to more than one job site so I can use it the moment I see something I’m interested in. I’ve printed a couple of copies that I could hand in to places I see looking to hire people. So far, my search has come to nothing. In the meantime, I’ve got people who, while they absolutely mean well, are in my ear telling me about vacancies they’ve seen and telling me I should apply to them. Even if it means me getting the tram in the morning. I have experienced getting the tram in the morning rush hour and, yeah it’s not something I want to experience on a regular basis (FYI, I don’t drive).
To be honest, after so many years in my current job, I’m ready for something different, not simply doing the same thing in a different place. Recently, I’ve felt like I’ve been going through the motions in my job and realised a long time ago that there was little to no chance of progression while I was still doing it. I’ve also decided that, whatever I do next, I don’t want to be having to be on my feet as often as I have been in this one. I want to be able to do something without my arthritic knees being aggravated from having to stand up for the best part of an eight-hour shift. However, the more I trail the job sites, the more I wonder whether I’ve left it too late to change career path, or am I going to have to consider moving away in order to get a decent job.
I suppose if I am unable to get a job straight away I can always use the time to learn to drive, brush up on some skills or maybe do stuff for peanuts online. In the meantime, I’ll just keep on looking.
This is Bunny. I was given him by my Auntie and Uncle when I was a baby, and he was my favourite toy. As a kid, I would take him everywhere. On car trips he would sit next to me on the back seat. He was there through a lot of good times, and also a lot of horrible times. To my very young self, Bunny was more of a toy, he was my best friend. Even when I hit my teens and the bulk of my toys I used to play with had been stored away, Bunny was still there, perched on a table next to my bed.
As I grew up and moved onto university and adulthood, Bunny eventually joined the other childhood things that had been carefully put away. Those childhood things later became lost under a pile of grown up things (you find out when you move back home from uni just how much crap you acquire). I was worried that I would never find Bunny again. Both my Auntie and Uncle had passed away by then, so I was more upset at the thought of not being able to find him.
A few days ago, on my 38th birthday, there was a shiny pink box among the presents. I was told it was a special present, so I left it until last. As I lifted the lid of the box, there was Bunny. My sister had found him on the floor of our bedroom, a bit dusty and his ears having come apart a little. The people renovating our house must have uncovered him while they were moving stuff around. Mum had washed him twice and stitched him up. When I took him out of the box, he looked good as new, save for his eyes being a little bit scratched, the result of the time that I tried to make him fly as a toddler. Seeing him there and holding him once again got me all emotional. Out of all the presents I got that day, this was surely the best one.
Bunny now takes pride of place next to my bed. And I’m not going to let go of him.
.. I should have done this post a lot earlier. It’s probably a bit late now to do the Happy New Year thing now isn’t it? Ah who cares, it’s still the first post I’ve done this year.
I’m not really one for New Year’s Resolutions, but this year I did decide to try and do somethings this year. Granted a few of them are on my list of things I want to do before I’m 40 (click here for that post), but there’s some things I want to give a go.
I’m going to read more books. I started out aiming to do this last year and I started well enough but I could have done better.
I’m going to use my camera more. Again I said this last year but this year I really am. I got a mini tripod for Christmas and I bought a book on photography as a present for myself. I’ve had photography books before but this is the first one I’ve read that I’ve actually really learnt something from – namely how to use settings other than Auto on my DSLR. It’s OK, I’ve only had my camera for like, nearly five years.
To sort myself out. Mentally and physically. Last year gave me a wake up call that I really need to begin to put myself and my wellbeing first. I’ve already begun to make steps towards that in the last few months.
Spending less time on social media. Yes, I know for me it will probably be a bit of a challenge in the case of Twitter. I have however, been thinking about cutting back on it for a while, for the sake of my mental health. Twitter is a completely different beast from what it was when I first joined it (ten years next month, bloody hell). It used to be a fun and friendly place. Now it’s a not really fun at all place where everyone screams abuse at each other for saying something they don’t like. Blame Brexit, Trump or whatever, it gets worse by the day, and it’s easy to find yourself drowning in the toxicity of it all.
(I haven’t looked at Twitter once since I started writing this post. Go me.)
That’s my plans anyway. Whether I can keep them going you will surely find out about here.
I hope you have a good and peaceful one. Try not to get into any arguments at the dinner table and maybe stay off social media if you’re recording any TV.
Four year old me thought She-Ra was a badass. Thirty seven year old me thinks that the new She-Ra is also a badass and four year old me would have loved her too.
Some people have moaned about how the new She-Ra and the other characters look and about “diversity” but you know what, forget them. This incarnation of She-Ra is not aimed at those of us who remember the original, although we can still watch it, of course. There are nods to the original, prime example being the way the Netflix logo at the start of the cartoon references the old Filmation intro that heralded the start of their cartoons, but other than that, it’s a complete 21st century production. Plus, the original was first broadcast over thirty years ago, times have changed a lot, including attitudes.
If there is one thing I have a gripe with, it’s the way that Catra looks like a lost character from Thundercats, but apart from that, it’s all good. And the original She-Ra (and also He-Man) episodes are on Netflix as well if you want to watch them again.
Here’s the trailer for the new version:
And here’s the original opening theme. Posted purely for the nostalgia:
Have spent most of it without taking my anxiety medication (which I only use when I need it). There were two situations when maybe I should have done but I’m trying not to become dependent on them and only using them when I feel I have to.
Managed to do one night of sleep during the working week without waking up at 4am and struggle to get back to sleep until I have to get up.
Emailed the counselling team confirming I want to access the service. Actually emailed them twice seeing as I realised that in the first email I’d sent them I’d got part of the email address wrong.
Realised I should have used my walking stick at least once this week.
Really want to get a SNES classic mini, because I never had one and always wanted to play Super Mario World.
Found out how I might look with purple hair.
(Yeah, probably not.)