Things I mean to keep telling myself.

Log off Twitter. Forget Facebook. Put down your phone. Leave your computer alone. Turn off your TV. Stop reading the news. Go outside. Read more books. Visit a museum. Spend real time with friends and family. Reject the things that make you feel down. Embrace the things that make you feel good. Trust your own judgement. Don’t be afraid to look for support. Know that it’s okay to not be okay. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. Keep negative people at arm’s length. Stop overthinking things. Fearing the worst makes the worst more likely. Make new memories. Make the kind of memories that you can’t share on Instagram. Know that you are not your thoughts – or anyone else’s. Be the best person that you can be.

Remember that everyone is basically good and that good will always overcome bad.

Everything will be fine. Really.

 

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36

I turned 36 last week. It’s been twenty years since I did my GCSEs. Twenty years since I said goodbye (and to an extent, good riddance) to high school and said hello to sixth form college and A Levels. And some of the songs and albums I fell in love with as a sixteen year old celebrate their twentieth anniversary this year.

It’s at this point that I really am feeling my age and I am cursing myself for edging another year closer to the 40 mark. But while the music that soundtracked my revision sessions may have veered its way into adulthood (I was revising in between listening to them, honest), they still sound as though they were only released yesterday, never mind in 1997. Take Mansun’s Attack of the Grey Lantern for instance, released on the 17th February 1997 and still sounds as fresh now as it did then. In fact Wide Open Space could probably be released today and be a hit. That said, it’s probably too sophisticated and out there for some of the kids today, but then Mansun weren’t like a lot of the bands around in the mid to late nineties and they certainly didn’t fit the Britpop mould either.

It’s weird how the nineties are becoming “in” again, isn’t it? I suppose for the people who were young kids in the nineties, it’s cool. For those of us who were teens and young adults in that decade, well it’s still cool but we find it difficult to believe that the nineties are considered retro now. Some of us even refuse to accept it’s so because it only feels like five minutes ago the nineties happened.

Anyway, I’m rambling now so I’m off for a lie down.

 

Five Year Plan

Now and again there are people who will ask you “Where do you see yourself in five years time?” Five years? I don’t see myself in five days time never mind five years.

And yet, there are some people who have it all planned out. They have an idea what they want to do, where they want to be, and how they are going to get it. They list out all their goals, when they are going to achieve them by, crossing them out as each achievement is unlocked. Until they hit a snag, and they start all over again. Their hard work undone by something they could not have forseen.

It’s good to make plans for the future, but I find that some things are better off not being planned in advance. I have dreams, and things that I want to achieve in life, just like everyone else, but I’ve found that spending a whole evening planning out how to achieve it is a waste of time, because you never know what will happen in between.

 

2017.

So here we are, 2017. Doesn’t seem too bad so far, but then it’s only day one. God knows what’s going to happen over the next 364 days. Plus I haven’t been out of the house and done anything today. I did go to bed at 3:20am. I didn’t even party hard last night (not that I do anyway on NYE), I was at my sister’s having a meal and being slumped on her couch watching the Hootenanny. Me and the parents ended up walking home at 1:25am as there were no taxis to be had, but it was all good as we’re only 15 minutes walk away. Plus it was a nice experience, walking along, having total strangers you meet along the way wish you a happy new year and vice versa. We got home and for some reason ended up watching an episode of Marple before hitting the sack. Hardcore.

As for today, I’ve just been sat inside watching TV and thinking about catching up on my sleep. I did try a nap earlier, having only got six and a half hours sleep, however I find it difficult to sleep in the day. I am faring better than many though. I don’t drink much and I didn’t have a drop of alcohol last night, so it’s only tiredness I was feeling this morning, not that I am bragging about it. I’ve also tried to do a bit of writing today. Actual pen in hand writing in a notebook. I’ve been doing it a bit more over the last few months, as I tried the “bullet journal” thing. I’m still doing it,however it’s less making note of things to do or events and more noting down all the ideas and random thoughts in my head now. And I’m absolutely crap at all the arty/crafty stuff that some bullet journalers do with theirs, but that’s not really necessary. I do use a lot of those little post-it thingies in it though. I use them to mark important pages and also where I’ve written something really good that I can put on the blog.

I am intending to blog a lot more this year and do more photography. I got my big camera out yesterday and there’s an online photography course I started a while ago that I want to complete. I’m having a go at film photography again too, using one of those little Lomography cameras. I really want to engage in my hobbies again, as I don’t think I’ve had as much chance over the last year, or just didn’t feel like it.

Well this is getting a bit of a long and rambling post, so I’ll leave it here.

Happy New Year.

 

Hurry up

As we get into the last days of 2016, I’m just waiting for it to hurry up and be over with. Not that I think that 2017 will definitely be better mind, I’m just thinking that we could all do with a break from everything that’s gone on this year.

Whatever does happen though, I am determined to handle it a lot better than I did this year. Unliking all those news pages I had on Facebook was a good start. Next I’m going to unfollow and/or block/mute all the news pages and general accounts that seem to be spouting nothing but negativity. I’m done with feeling hopeless and angry about everything I read and hear. I know, it would probably be better to just get off the internet, if only it was easy to do that.

I guess I just want to feel a bit of hope from somewhere and I definitely want to feel a bit more positive about my life and stuff. I’m sure we all want to go into the new year feeling that.

 

Merry Christmas

I hope you all have a great day tomorrow, full of presents, food, family and good TV. Try not to get into any heated debates with your loved ones at the dinner table over the things that have happened over the past year, however hard that might be. Seriously, don’t even let Fart or Brexit and people’s opinions on them (even those you agree with) ruin your day, okay? Just enjoy it, because goodness knows we all deserve it.

No News, no comment.

A couple of days ago, I logged onto Facebook and decided to unlike the majority of the news sites I followed on it. The result: I feel so much better for having done it.

It had been a long time coming. Day after day I had gone onto there, saw the news stories that had clogged up my feed and had found myself feeling everything from sadness to disappointment to anger. Not so much at the stories themselves (however, yes there have been a lot of awful stuff going on this year), but more at the comments that were attached to each of the stories. For as anyone who ventures onto Facebook knows, the average news item usually has a stream of comments from people who are at best ignorant and at worst, completely unpleasant human beings – especially if those news stories happen to include the words “Brexit”, “Trump”and “extremists”. Such contributions often include the use of the words “leftie”, “leftard”, “libtard” and “remoaners” in order to insult ones giving opposing views. To have compassion for others is seen as a bad thing, and the likes of Nigel Farage and Katie Hopkins are heralded as heroes. The whole level of intellectual debate in the average Facebook news post is anything but intellectual, to the point that if any of the angry mob who populate them were to engage in debate with a member of a high school debating society the latter would wipe the floor with them. That’s if the former not already been kicked out of the debate for insulting their opponent (if you have to resort to insults, you’ve lost the argument. Perhaps the only thing Margaret Thatcher said that most of us can agree with).

I occasionally commented on stories, and while I didn’t get a barrage of abuse for being a pro-EU, left leaning, feminist-ey liberal type (in fact, I did get a few likes for my comments), I did feel a bit uneasy later on. I didn’t wade in to get into slanging matches with people, I just wanted to give my opinion on an issue and hope that there was someone who would, if they did disagree, be respectful of my opinion, as I would they. Unfortunately in the world of Facebook and social media at large, this is a very rare occurence. Even I’ve bordered on the verge of trolling in the past – who hasn’t?

 

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was getting tired how the news posts and the comments attached to them were making me feel, so I chose to stop following them. Already I feel less angry and sad about how people are. Sure I’m still down about what’s going on in the world, but by cutting it out of my Facebook feed I feel a little bit better. Let’s face it, in an age of 24 hour rolling news, be it on TV or online, we are being bogged down with information and it isn’t healthy for us, at all. In fact, it could be argued that the state of comments on Facebook, and on news stories across the internet are highlighting just how unhealthy it all is. We could all do with cutting down our news intake now and again, for the sake of our wellbeing.

I plan to mute any news accounts I follow on Twitter next.