The Edge of 40.

I turn 40 tomorrow.

I did hope that I would at least be able to wander the non essential shops by the time my birthday came around, but I think we all knew that was never going to happen. I wasn’t thinking about doing anything big on my birthday even if were not in lockdown during a global pandemic, to be honest. I’m not one for wanting to mark my milestones with a massive party or some other big event. I was getting the “what are you going to do for your 40th?” questions from some quarters when I was 37, for goodness sake.

I wish that I had managed to get a bit further with the “Things I want to do before I’m 40” list before old Rona came along, but I suppose it just gives me more reason to try and work on them again when all this is over (because it will be, my friends). In the meantime, I will spend tomorrow indoors, in the warmth, stuffing my face with cake and watching more TV than I should be doing. However I might decide to go for a walk too if it’s not too cold.

(Also what is all this about people in my country sharing themselves walking in the snow barefoot on social media? Why would you do that?)


I turned 36 last week. It’s been twenty years since I did my GCSEs. Twenty years since I said goodbye (and to an extent, good riddance) to high school and said hello to sixth form college and A Levels. And some of the songs and albums I fell in love with as a sixteen year old celebrate their twentieth anniversary this year.

It’s at this point that I really am feeling my age and I am cursing myself for edging another year closer to the 40 mark. But while the music that soundtracked my revision sessions may have veered its way into adulthood (I was revising in between listening to them, honest), they still sound as though they were only released yesterday, never mind in 1997. Take Mansun’s Attack of the Grey Lantern for instance, released on the 17th February 1997 and still sounds as fresh now as it did then. In fact Wide Open Space could probably be released today and be a hit. That said, it’s probably too sophisticated and out there for some of the kids today, but then Mansun weren’t like a lot of the bands around in the mid to late nineties and they certainly didn’t fit the Britpop mould either.

It’s weird how the nineties are becoming “in” again, isn’t it? I suppose for the people who were young kids in the nineties, it’s cool. For those of us who were teens and young adults in that decade, well it’s still cool but we find it difficult to believe that the nineties are considered retro now. Some of us even refuse to accept it’s so because it only feels like five minutes ago the nineties happened.

Anyway, I’m rambling now so I’m off for a lie down.



I turned 34 a few days ago. While there was celebration at reaching another year of being on this Earth, there was also disappointment at being another year closer to 40. I don’t really feel that old, not yet anyway. It’s not much different to when I was 33, when it took me a while to get used to saying I was. Kind of like getting used to writing 2015 instead of 2014 (that must have taken me about three weeks).

Anyway, now that I am another year older, I feel like I should begin to be more of an adult. I feel like I have most of the bases covered already – a job, a credit card, responsibility for paying bills, etc. but I know that there’s more. I feel like as much as I am a grown up, I feel like there’s so many things that I’m lacking. Things that I thought I would have got by now, places I thought I would have got to. It’s got to the point where I’m wondering if where I am is all that there is for me. Sometimes, it’s as if I don’t really know who I am.

Maybe it’s about time I tried to find out.

NaBloPoMo Day 29: Almost there

We are at day 29 of the NaBloPoMo adventure. Blimey, November has gone quick. It only seems like the other day that I posted the first blog of this thing. It also seems like only the other day that I promised myself I would try and switch things up a bit postings – wise. These haven’t always necessarily gone to plan but I have tried to get a few photos on these things. Just be thankful that you haven’t had to hear me talk in any videos, which could very nearly have happened.

So yeah, what was I going to write about on today’s post? I don’t know really. I hadn’t really thought up anything as I have been helping out at my nephew’s birthday party today. He had an XBox party – no really. There’s a bus that you can book for parties that is kitted out with Xboxes. My nephew and his friends absolutely loved it. You could hear them from inside the house as they were enjoying playing Minecraft. Some of my sister’s neighbours came round to have a look at the bus and seeing all these excited kids. You know what, I’d have liked to have had a go in there myself, but I would probably be rubbish. The first time my nephew showed me how to play Minecraft, I was a bit crap. I couldn’t get used to the controls (it was on a PS3).

I should also show you the awesome party boxes that my sister had got for my nephew and his friends.


I quite liked helping put these together.


It was my birthday yesterday.  I hit the ripe old age of 30, hence the title of this blog (God I’m so original with my titles).

Twenty four hours on, it’s just about sunk in that I have reached this milestone, however I don’t necessarily feel it. Not that I thought that I would feel different in any way.  It’s just that thirty has always seemed like a scary age to me, partly because it always seemed so far off before. The film Logan’s Run didn’t do much to promote it as a good age to be really. It came across as the age in which you finally properly became an adult in terms of that you were at least one of the things out of married/parent/homeowner – all three if you go by the Daily Mail’s doctrine.  Suffice to say the Fail will regard me as being a social failure, being none of these, but at least I have a job so they can’t call me a scrounger.  And I don’t give a fuck what the Mail thinks of people like me.

Having thought about it, it seems silly now that I even felt bad about turning 30.  I didn’t go as stupid about it as some do when they turn a certain age – I didn’t get depressed about it or consider ways of retaining my youth.  In fact, a few days before my birthday I was bemoaning the fact that my skin had gone the way of a 16-year-old,  and not in a good way. Now looking at it, I feel good about the fact that I can still get bouts of acne.  (Yes I am weird, you don’t need to comment on here to tell me that).  Yes people around me did make a big deal of my age, as you do when it’s a milestone, but I enjoyed it. My old friend did feel the need to slap “30” across everything that she gave me, but that’s ok. I can get my own back next year, when it’s her 30th.

Now if you excuse me, I am going to play with my toy wind up meerkats* and eat packets of Fizzers. Hey just because I’ve reached a certain age doesn’t mean I have to act it.

*I got them as a present yesterday. Really.