A quick question

Does anyone still blog as a hobby anymore? Or is it more for business reasons?

I ask as it seems like the blogosphere has changed a lot since I first dipped my toes into its waters. When I began in the mid 00s, first on Blogger and then later on WordPress, with a bit of MySpace in between, many of us were using it as an online diary, as a place to talk about their interests, to have a rant or share stuff they created. Now whenever I see stuff about starting blogs, it’s about how to make it a career, how to make money from it and all the new blogs I see pop up reflect that.

I don’t see anything wrong with it. I have tried to see if I can make a bit of money out of this before myself, while still mainly doing it as a hobby. You can probably tell this from my “publishing schedule” (I’m working on it, honest). I just wonder if there are still people out there who are 100 percent doing it for the love of sharing whatever’s in their heads or what they enjoy. They’re on a free plan, they don’t see themselves as influencers, they don’t have brand deals or affiliate links on their blog. They don’t plan what they’re going to post ahead of time, they just go for it when they want to.

Lockdown report

Aggretsuko. The cutest death metal head.

As of 21st April 2020:

I have only gone out of the house five times (excluding the times I’ve been in the garden) since lockdown began.

I have watched far too much Homes Under The Hammer.

I realised Aggretsuko is my spirit animal minus the singing of death metal at karaoke. I don’t do karaoke, but I have fantasised about screaming “YOU’RE A SHITTY BOSS!!!!!! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!” at former horrible managers.

I have taken part in a 30 day song challenge on Instagram. Normally I find these kind of challenges on any social media platform incredibly annoying but it is something to relieve the boredom. And it is interesting to find out what others I follow who are doing it post.

I got three letters from the hospital on the same day (two of them being the same letter). One was the dreaded letter telling me I was in the “at risk” group with me having a long term health condition and saying I should shield for 12 weeks. The other letter(s) were from my consultant which included a form to self assess my level of risk. The higher the score, the higher the risk. My score? 0. Therefore I don’t have to fully shield and can follow the social distancing protocols. Yes I’m confused, but thinking about it I’d rather have got the letters than not. It shows they’re looking out for us.

My anxiety has been through the roof.

I am grateful to live in the time of video calls and messaging apps.

I’ve reduced my twitter consumption if only to stop myself from getting upset and angry at 5G truthers and all other assorted idiots that are in overdrive during this time.

I’ve also reduced my Facebook time for the same reason. Thankfully, I don’t have many friends on there and the majority of them don’t engage with that kind of nonsense.

I believe Disney + came along at just the right time. And yes, The Mandalorian is magnificent.

I’m still meh about Killing Eve.

I downloaded Disney Sorcerer’s Arena on my phone. I deleted it after two days as it drained my phone battery faster than Fallout Shelter did a few years back. Good game though. That reminds me, I need to get a new phone when this is all over.

I also downloaded Incredibox. You have to pay for it, but it is a fun little app.

Been using Noted to empty my head of thoughts. Some potential blog material which I might share, then again might not.

I wrote about lockdown and ended up turning it into some weird poem that I’m kind of equal parts proud and embarrassed about.

My skin has gone bad.

I’m more tired than I’ve been for a while.

I’m doing my best to hold it together.

I hope you’re coping well.

Technology hates me (again)

Last weekend my iPhone crashed. I spent the best part of nearly three hours trying to download the update, only for it having to be restored to factory settings and my most recent backup being installed on it. It was then that I found out that my phone hadn’t backed up since June, so all the apps that installed were all the old versions which wouldn’t work until I had downloaded the update. I did of course, backup my phone to my computer after I had installed everything (I usually do it to the cloud but it was taking a hell of a long time that night and I was very, very, impatient).

A few days ago, I noticed that nearly the entire middle row of my laptop’s keyboard wasn’t working properly. Out of ASDFGHJKL, only the “G” and “H” keys were okay, while some of the symbols weren’t working either. I gave the keyboard a clean, but still no luck. Not good for someone who blogs and has also started an online copywriting course. I bought a USB keyboard off amazon and you know what, I am pretty glad I did in the end. As much as I like the keyboard on my laptop, I’ve not always felt comfortable using it. It’s alright when you’re browsing the web, tweeting and stuff like that, but it could be a bit of a pain when you’re writing longer things. Also it used to be pretty annoying when I was writing a blog post or email only to have to start over when the corner of my hand would catch a button whilst typing and delete everything.

I’m just hoping I don’t have any other technical difficulties for a bit as I don’t really want to fork out for anything new just yet unless anything goes completely kaput.

(By the way, these technical difficulties have meant that part two of my “Brief History of Blogging” post has been delayed somewhat. It is coming, I promise).

Housekeeping

Hello. How are you?

It’s been a bit since I came on here. I think it’s about time I tried to post a bit more regularly again. But first of all, I’m going to try to tidy this place up a bit. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about polishing this up and refocusing this blog. For a while I’ve been meaning to do this, but haven’t had a lot of time to through life getting in the way. I’ve been thinking a lot about what direction I want this blog to go in. For years it has been very much a mixed bag of stuff. In recent months I’ve veered towards more personal posts, which originally I didn’t want to make part of this but this has become more so as I’ve begun to be stuck for ideas. I won’t say that my life stuff will stop being a part of this site,  but I’m going to try and write less about it. There will also be fewer posts that are clearly for the sake of blogging. We can all tell those kinds of posts, can’t we? I’m working 100% on only blogging when I actually have ideas and not purely to maintain what little readership I have.

This place will be undergoing some changes as I work to improve my blogging and begin to get back into enjoying this and writing in general. It might still be messy for a bit, but bear with me as I experiment. Also some posts might well be disappearing from this site in the long run. I have what must be nearly ten years worth on here, so it might be a struggle(!)

 

30 Blogs of November: Day 15

I downloaded Anchor onto my phone a few days ago. It’s an app that you can create and share your own audio, like podcasts and stuff. At the moment I’m at the “listening to what everyone else is doing stage”. There is a possibility I could get to the “give up after using it a couple of times and not use it again for months” stage. It is making me wonder though, if I was to do a podcast on it or publish any sort of audio, what would I do other than maybe fill it with music (seeing as you can share songs from Apple Music and Spotify on there as part of your broadcasts).

I am incredibly short on ideas at the moment for a lot of things. I do recommend the app though, if you like that sort of thing.

Things I mean to keep telling myself.

Log off Twitter. Forget Facebook. Put down your phone. Leave your computer alone. Turn off your TV. Stop reading the news. Go outside. Read more books. Visit a museum. Spend real time with friends and family. Reject the things that make you feel down. Embrace the things that make you feel good. Trust your own judgement. Don’t be afraid to look for support. Know that it’s okay to not be okay. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. Keep negative people at arm’s length. Stop overthinking things. Fearing the worst makes the worst more likely. Make new memories. Make the kind of memories that you can’t share on Instagram. Know that you are not your thoughts – or anyone else’s. Be the best person that you can be.

Remember that everyone is basically good and that good will always overcome bad.

Everything will be fine. Really.

 

Resigned to it.

Nearly every day when I’m at work, I end up writing my resignation letter in my head. This usually happens when I’ve had to deal with a particularly annoying client, or when my manager’s having a strop and decides to take her stress out on someone (usually me).

One day I’ll end up writing the resignation letter for real. I just hope that I have that opportunity sooner rather than later.

Difficult

Every now and again, when I’m bored, I look back on my old blog posts. Some make me smile, some make me cringe. The rest just make me wonder why on earth I ever thought about writing on that particular subject. But one thing that I do get from reading them, is just how I was feeling at the time I wrote them.

For me, the best posts I have are the ones in which I clearly show enthusiasm for what I’m doing. Even if the post I’m writing rambles in parts, I can tell that I wanted to write it and that I enjoyed getting it all out of my system. The worst ones are the ones in which it’s clear, to me at least, that I’ve pushed myself into posting something, however mundane, in order to try and show that this is still active. While it’s been tempting to delete these, I’ve kept them on the blog, as whatever I think about them, some might still want to read them. I just see them as a reason to improve.

Recently I’ve been posting fewer blogs, not just on here but on one of the other sites that I use. When I have posted, it’s been more out of doing so for the sake of it rather than because I had something I really wanted to share, and it shows. I’ve long known that it’s better not to blog than force yourself to, yet you still feel that you should try to, as you never know, you might well come up with something good while typing away.It rarely happens. It’s true that life has sort of got in the way of me posting as regularly as I would like to, but something has affected it more.

I don’t think my heart is in blogging anymore. I don’t think I enjoy writing in general as much as I used to. As someone who enjoyed making up stories and stuff from the moment she learned how to put pen to paper, it saddens me to say it. I’d like to think it was down to a massive case of writers block, but I’m not so sure. Thing is, I’ve not been enjoying this for a while and while I’ve tried to get myself back into it – even restarting an old blog on another platform- I’ve given up on trying,

Now I”m wondering whether it is time I gave up on this.