Hello. How are you?
It’s been a bit since I came on here. I think it’s about time I tried to post a bit more regularly again. But first of all, I’m going to try to tidy this place up a bit. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about polishing this up and refocusing this blog. For a while I’ve been meaning to do this, but haven’t had a lot of time to through life getting in the way. I’ve been thinking a lot about what direction I want this blog to go in. For years it has been very much a mixed bag of stuff. In recent months I’ve veered towards more personal posts, which originally I didn’t want to make part of this but this has become more so as I’ve begun to be stuck for ideas. I won’t say that my life stuff will stop being a part of this site, but I’m going to try and write less about it. There will also be fewer posts that are clearly for the sake of blogging. We can all tell those kinds of posts, can’t we? I’m working 100% on only blogging when I actually have ideas and not purely to maintain what little readership I have.
This place will be undergoing some changes as I work to improve my blogging and begin to get back into enjoying this and writing in general. It might still be messy for a bit, but bear with me as I experiment. Also some posts might well be disappearing from this site in the long run. I have what must be nearly ten years worth on here, so it might be a struggle(!)
I downloaded Anchor onto my phone a few days ago. It’s an app that you can create and share your own audio, like podcasts and stuff. At the moment I’m at the “listening to what everyone else is doing stage”. There is a possibility I could get to the “give up after using it a couple of times and not use it again for months” stage. It is making me wonder though, if I was to do a podcast on it or publish any sort of audio, what would I do other than maybe fill it with music (seeing as you can share songs from Apple Music and Spotify on there as part of your broadcasts).
I am incredibly short on ideas at the moment for a lot of things. I do recommend the app though, if you like that sort of thing.
Log off Twitter. Forget Facebook. Put down your phone. Leave your computer alone. Turn off your TV. Stop reading the news. Go outside. Read more books. Visit a museum. Spend real time with friends and family. Reject the things that make you feel down. Embrace the things that make you feel good. Trust your own judgement. Don’t be afraid to look for support. Know that it’s okay to not be okay. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. Keep negative people at arm’s length. Stop overthinking things. Fearing the worst makes the worst more likely. Make new memories. Make the kind of memories that you can’t share on Instagram. Know that you are not your thoughts – or anyone else’s. Be the best person that you can be.
Remember that everyone is basically good and that good will always overcome bad.
Everything will be fine. Really.
Nearly every day when I’m at work, I end up writing my resignation letter in my head. This usually happens when I’ve had to deal with a particularly annoying client, or when my manager’s having a strop and decides to take her stress out on someone (usually me).
One day I’ll end up writing the resignation letter for real. I just hope that I have that opportunity sooner rather than later.
Every now and again, when I’m bored, I look back on my old blog posts. Some make me smile, some make me cringe. The rest just make me wonder why on earth I ever thought about writing on that particular subject. But one thing that I do get from reading them, is just how I was feeling at the time I wrote them.
For me, the best posts I have are the ones in which I clearly show enthusiasm for what I’m doing. Even if the post I’m writing rambles in parts, I can tell that I wanted to write it and that I enjoyed getting it all out of my system. The worst ones are the ones in which it’s clear, to me at least, that I’ve pushed myself into posting something, however mundane, in order to try and show that this is still active. While it’s been tempting to delete these, I’ve kept them on the blog, as whatever I think about them, some might still want to read them. I just see them as a reason to improve.
Recently I’ve been posting fewer blogs, not just on here but on one of the other sites that I use. When I have posted, it’s been more out of doing so for the sake of it rather than because I had something I really wanted to share, and it shows. I’ve long known that it’s better not to blog than force yourself to, yet you still feel that you should try to, as you never know, you might well come up with something good while typing away.It rarely happens. It’s true that life has sort of got in the way of me posting as regularly as I would like to, but something has affected it more.
I don’t think my heart is in blogging anymore. I don’t think I enjoy writing in general as much as I used to. As someone who enjoyed making up stories and stuff from the moment she learned how to put pen to paper, it saddens me to say it. I’d like to think it was down to a massive case of writers block, but I’m not so sure. Thing is, I’ve not been enjoying this for a while and while I’ve tried to get myself back into it – even restarting an old blog on another platform- I’ve given up on trying,
Now I”m wondering whether it is time I gave up on this.