Last night I was once again debating whether to carry on with this blog or allow it to drift away into cyberspace. I ended up asking Twitter to help with my decision, using the poll function and the result was 100% that I should keep going. Cheers to the five people who voted, by the way. I’m not sure who you are because twitter doesn’t give those stats but I appreciate you for doing so.
OK, so after deciding to go with the will of the people I am now trying to work out how to make it a bit better. I’ve been doing a bit of maintenance over the last day, including getting rid of some of the old blogs I don’t use any more (most of these cropped up when I was struggling for ideas for this one). For the first time I’ve been thinking about the direction I should take with this blog. In the beginning when I first started this I wasn’t too bothered about concentrating on any particular theme apart from everything that interested me and/or came into my head when I wrote it, but now I’m wondering whether to leave certain things out and put more focus on posts about others.
I’ve already thought about cutting back on the more personal posts. I never really intended this to be a moanathon about the crapness of my life because I wanted to look like I enjoy writing, but I realised that the worse writers’ block I had the more I strayed into that territory. I will probably end up looking back on nine years worth of posts (yes I have been on here that long) in order to decide what else to post more and scale back on. Any other suggestions from readers are most welcome.
Anyway, enough of this rambling, I’m off to find out who Balaclava Man is. (Line of Duty reference. Don’t tell me you haven’t been watching, unless you’re not in the UK).
I turned 36 last week. It’s been twenty years since I did my GCSEs. Twenty years since I said goodbye (and to an extent, good riddance) to high school and said hello to sixth form college and A Levels. And some of the songs and albums I fell in love with as a sixteen year old celebrate their twentieth anniversary this year.
It’s at this point that I really am feeling my age and I am cursing myself for edging another year closer to the 40 mark. But while the music that soundtracked my revision sessions may have veered its way into adulthood (I was revising in between listening to them, honest), they still sound as though they were only released yesterday, never mind in 1997. Take Mansun’s Attack of the Grey Lantern for instance, released on the 17th February 1997 and still sounds as fresh now as it did then. In fact Wide Open Space could probably be released today and be a hit. That said, it’s probably too sophisticated and out there for some of the kids today, but then Mansun weren’t like a lot of the bands around in the mid to late nineties and they certainly didn’t fit the Britpop mould either.
It’s weird how the nineties are becoming “in” again, isn’t it? I suppose for the people who were young kids in the nineties, it’s cool. For those of us who were teens and young adults in that decade, well it’s still cool but we find it difficult to believe that the nineties are considered retro now. Some of us even refuse to accept it’s so because it only feels like five minutes ago the nineties happened.
Anyway, I’m rambling now so I’m off for a lie down.
So here we are, 2017. Doesn’t seem too bad so far, but then it’s only day one. God knows what’s going to happen over the next 364 days. Plus I haven’t been out of the house and done anything today. I did go to bed at 3:20am. I didn’t even party hard last night (not that I do anyway on NYE), I was at my sister’s having a meal and being slumped on her couch watching the Hootenanny. Me and the parents ended up walking home at 1:25am as there were no taxis to be had, but it was all good as we’re only 15 minutes walk away. Plus it was a nice experience, walking along, having total strangers you meet along the way wish you a happy new year and vice versa. We got home and for some reason ended up watching an episode of Marple before hitting the sack. Hardcore.
As for today, I’ve just been sat inside watching TV and thinking about catching up on my sleep. I did try a nap earlier, having only got six and a half hours sleep, however I find it difficult to sleep in the day. I am faring better than many though. I don’t drink much and I didn’t have a drop of alcohol last night, so it’s only tiredness I was feeling this morning, not that I am bragging about it. I’ve also tried to do a bit of writing today. Actual pen in hand writing in a notebook. I’ve been doing it a bit more over the last few months, as I tried the “bullet journal” thing. I’m still doing it,however it’s less making note of things to do or events and more noting down all the ideas and random thoughts in my head now. And I’m absolutely crap at all the arty/crafty stuff that some bullet journalers do with theirs, but that’s not really necessary. I do use a lot of those little post-it thingies in it though. I use them to mark important pages and also where I’ve written something really good that I can put on the blog.
I am intending to blog a lot more this year and do more photography. I got my big camera out yesterday and there’s an online photography course I started a while ago that I want to complete. I’m having a go at film photography again too, using one of those little Lomography cameras. I really want to engage in my hobbies again, as I don’t think I’ve had as much chance over the last year, or just didn’t feel like it.
Well this is getting a bit of a long and rambling post, so I’ll leave it here.
Happy New Year.
I had thought of going somewhere today, but the weather put me off. Plus I was still a bit tired and my knee was flickering with pain again, so I ended up staying in. Maybe there was something good on TV, like an old film or something? Turned out the TV schedule was pretty much the same as on any other day. Somehow I had thought that Homes Under The Hammer and Judge Rinder would get a day off too. How foolish of me.
And so my day ended up messing with Miitomo, scrolling Twitter and making random scribbles into a notebook, which made me feel better for a bit but aren’t really anything that I would want to read back. This writers block and generally feeling uninspired isn’t going to shift any time soon, but I am trying to work my way through it.
At this point in time I would be considering doing Nanowrimo or Nablopomo with them both starting in November. I decided a long time ago that writing a novel in thirty days wasn’t something I was good at keeping to after a disastrous attempt a couple of years back. And yet, there has always been that urge to try again once I’d come up with a decent idea. I had even bought a book on novel writing ages ago in the hope that it might inspire, but no ideas came and so I resolved never to touch that particular challenge again – well, at least for a year.
Nablopomo however, was an altogether easier challenge for me. Writing thirty blog posts in thirty days was simple enough to do, even if half my posts were more “yes I’m still at it!” than posting anything that was planned or remotely meaningful. I was still writing something though, even if it was a lot of crap. Plus I regarded completing the challenge two years in a row as a big achievement, seeing as I often tend to give up on a lot of things.
This year however, I’m thinking about not doing Nablopomo at all. I don’t really feel like I can come up with a month’s worth of blog posts and even if I could, my heart wouldn’t be in it at all. The other occasions I did it, I really wanted to put more content on my blog. I really wanted to write stuff and actually had things to share. I’d slacked a little in updating the site and in writing overall prior to doing the challenge and this was my way to get into the habit again. Nowadays any attempt to blog finds me writing one sentence before deleting it or saving it to drafts – that’s if it gets that far. I feel that if I was to do it again, I’d want to really plan what I’m doing and have the ideas there, but I don’t think I’d always have time to do that. I don’t want to post for the sake of posting, as it’s always pretty obvious when someone does that (I can see plenty of examples on my own blog, when I read them back).
Most of all, I want to enjoy doing it, and I’m not sure I will this time. Don’t ask me why.
I really struggled putting one together this week. I’ve not been feeling that well today and didn’t really feel like going on the laptop to blog again earlier, but then I thought I’d try and see if it took my mind off feeling like shite. This is again pretty random but I hope you enjoy it.
(N.B. Yes the first song in this playlist is in Welsh. The only thing that I can understand is that it mentions the patriarchy but you don’t always need to know what someone’s singing about in order to know that it’s a f***ing tune, do you?)
And that is rather dangerous. Because when you blog when you’re bored, it tends to be about either nothing in particular or about a whole load of things but it’s all a bit scrappy and you end up deleting it later because you know you can write better than this.
But then again, you are glad that you posted this because there’s a load of things that you’re trying to get out of your system and if you’re going to put them anywhere it may as well be here. However, a punchbag would also be useful in times like these. Hang on, I have a couple of stressballs, they’ll do.
I know there’s something more constructive that I could be doing, but I can’t remember what it is. I know that there’s a whole load more interesting things I could be putting here, but I’ve run out of ideas and lack the motivation to find any. And yet I am motivated to type stuff, however dull or pointless it might be. Maybe I’ll find something among all this.