I had thought of going somewhere today, but the weather put me off. Plus I was still a bit tired and my knee was flickering with pain again, so I ended up staying in. Maybe there was something good on TV, like an old film or something? Turned out the TV schedule was pretty much the same as on any other day. Somehow I had thought that Homes Under The Hammer and Judge Rinder would get a day off too. How foolish of me.
And so my day ended up messing with Miitomo, scrolling Twitter and making random scribbles into a notebook, which made me feel better for a bit but aren’t really anything that I would want to read back. This writers block and generally feeling uninspired isn’t going to shift any time soon, but I am trying to work my way through it.
At this point in time I would be considering doing Nanowrimo or Nablopomo with them both starting in November. I decided a long time ago that writing a novel in thirty days wasn’t something I was good at keeping to after a disastrous attempt a couple of years back. And yet, there has always been that urge to try again once I’d come up with a decent idea. I had even bought a book on novel writing ages ago in the hope that it might inspire, but no ideas came and so I resolved never to touch that particular challenge again – well, at least for a year.
Nablopomo however, was an altogether easier challenge for me. Writing thirty blog posts in thirty days was simple enough to do, even if half my posts were more “yes I’m still at it!” than posting anything that was planned or remotely meaningful. I was still writing something though, even if it was a lot of crap. Plus I regarded completing the challenge two years in a row as a big achievement, seeing as I often tend to give up on a lot of things.
This year however, I’m thinking about not doing Nablopomo at all. I don’t really feel like I can come up with a month’s worth of blog posts and even if I could, my heart wouldn’t be in it at all. The other occasions I did it, I really wanted to put more content on my blog. I really wanted to write stuff and actually had things to share. I’d slacked a little in updating the site and in writing overall prior to doing the challenge and this was my way to get into the habit again. Nowadays any attempt to blog finds me writing one sentence before deleting it or saving it to drafts – that’s if it gets that far. I feel that if I was to do it again, I’d want to really plan what I’m doing and have the ideas there, but I don’t think I’d always have time to do that. I don’t want to post for the sake of posting, as it’s always pretty obvious when someone does that (I can see plenty of examples on my own blog, when I read them back).
Most of all, I want to enjoy doing it, and I’m not sure I will this time. Don’t ask me why.
I really struggled putting one together this week. I’ve not been feeling that well today and didn’t really feel like going on the laptop to blog again earlier, but then I thought I’d try and see if it took my mind off feeling like shite. This is again pretty random but I hope you enjoy it.
(N.B. Yes the first song in this playlist is in Welsh. The only thing that I can understand is that it mentions the patriarchy but you don’t always need to know what someone’s singing about in order to know that it’s a f***ing tune, do you?)
And that is rather dangerous. Because when you blog when you’re bored, it tends to be about either nothing in particular or about a whole load of things but it’s all a bit scrappy and you end up deleting it later because you know you can write better than this.
But then again, you are glad that you posted this because there’s a load of things that you’re trying to get out of your system and if you’re going to put them anywhere it may as well be here. However, a punchbag would also be useful in times like these. Hang on, I have a couple of stressballs, they’ll do.
I know there’s something more constructive that I could be doing, but I can’t remember what it is. I know that there’s a whole load more interesting things I could be putting here, but I’ve run out of ideas and lack the motivation to find any. And yet I am motivated to type stuff, however dull or pointless it might be. Maybe I’ll find something among all this.
Last year I challenged myself to post a blog every day during the month of November. It was born out of wanting to add more stuff to my site, after a while of barely posting anything and feeling like I was falling out of love with it. It was also out of thinking that I could do a month’s worth of blogging better than I could write a novel in a month. I had tried to do NaNoWriMo the year before and frankly, I was shit at it. Plus National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) is also a thing that incidentally, occurs on the same month as NaNoWriMo, so why not?
My NaBloPoMo experience was a bit mixed. While I succeeded in posting every day, a lot of what I posted was a bit, well, filler. Some days I didn’t have any idea of what to post, so I ended up writing about my (not entirely interesting) day, typing down random thoughts that occurred to me that very minute, even writing about not having anything to post. I deliberately avoided writing posts based on prompts as I wanted to work on my own ideas, not ones suggested on a website regardless of how bad my writers’ block was. The quality of posts varied, but I still managed to post something. It still felt a lot easier than NaNoWriMo, however on finishing the challenge I thought I could have put a bit more effort into what I posted. But then, that’s me, always thinking I could have done things a bit better.
This year I have decided to do it again. From the 1st November to the 30th, my aim is to post a blog a day. A lot of them will be written posts, but I’m hoping to get a few more photo posts and maybe even a video or two in this time. I want to play around with different formats this time. Hopefully I will have a few more ideas and have fewer “I have no idea what I am doing” posts this time.
Let’s see how I get on this time.
You know how it is, you come on here with the intention of writing something and you end up just changing your blog’s theme instead.
Really, I did want to post something on here today but I couldn’t come up with anything, which is pretty much the case here these days. It’s not that I have fallen out of love with blogging, it’s just that I don’t really have the chance to sit down and come out with anything decent. Plus when I do have something that I think could make a good entry, I write it down, get stuck for words and end up abandoning it. While I know I shouldn’t be frustrated and it’s something that you shouldn’t get frustrated about I am. I don’t what it says about me (something not good, I bet), but I just wish that I could devote more time to this and be able to have something to say, rather than just go through the motions or post some “I’m still here” post like this is turning out to be.
I hate to say it, but maybe I am not finding this fun anymore after all.
Once again, I found myself stuck for another idea for a blog post. This has been a pretty regular thing during this challenge. Some days I had thought of giving it a miss for a day and catch up the next. I vowed that I would carry on throughout the month, I would not even think about giving up.
Today, I nearly did give up. I thought that I had managed to do pretty well getting up to this point. I didn’t want to fill my last few blog posts with moaning about how I couldn’t come up with anything. I wanted to write something decent.
Then something hit me that made me feel like writing this:
Posting blogs in which you bang on about having nothing to write about is still writing something. Yes it probably isn’t writing anything interesting, but you’re still posting something. And isn’t that the whole point of a challenge like this?
Think of when you did NaNoWrimo. Yes you didn’t last long with it and your novel was mostly disjointed and sketchy but you still had a go. Besides, does anyone write a perfect novel in thirty days? I doubt it. Is every blog post written during the month of November a masterpiece? Absolutely not. Your blog as a whole is made up of posts of varying quality, from thought out pieces to spur of the moment rants and rambles. What you think is a poor post is probably good to somebody. Hell, you’ll probably read this back thinking it is boring, and you might even consider deleting it. But you should still feel good that you spent another day writing something. And you know what? nobody gives a monkey’s what you write about anyway. So long as it looks like you enjoy writing it. So bloody well enjoy it!
Hang on, there’s not too long to go now…