A Public Service Announcement for the UK

Don’t be a dick at Christmas, especially not this year

Don’t be a dick at Christmas, I’m making it very clear

I know that you might have to stay at home

It sucks that you might have to spend it alone

But don’t be a dick at Christmas, especially not this year.

Don’t be a dick at Christmas if you can see your fam

Don’t be a dick at Christmas, no fighting in front of your mam

Don’t moan about what you did or didn’t get

Don’t throw the remote at the TV set

Just don’t be a dick at Christmas, no matter what your tier.

Don’t be a dick at Christmas, we know it might be tough

Don’t be a dick at Christmas, we’ve honestly had enough

Of you crying ”it’s all a conspiracy!”

”It’s all down to Bill Gates and 5G!”

Give it a rest, it’s Christmas! Shut up and have a beer.

Don’t be a dick at Christmas, I’m telling you one last time

Don’t be a dick at Christmas, leave the mistletoe and whine

Don’t brag about the size of your present pile

Don’t share it on Facebook, that’s just vile

Don’t spend all day scrolling on your phone

Don’t have a drink if you need to drive home

Sorry that you can’t go to the pub

Or have twenty people round for your Christmas grub

But please don’t be a dick at Christmas, especially not this year.

Merry Christmas

It’s been nearly a month since I posted my last blog at the end of NaBloPoMo. I suppose I’ve left enough time. Anyway, I just came on here as I usually do around this time to wish everyone a very happy Christmas. Peace on Earth and fat tums to all men- or something like that.

In all honesty, I’m only here to check that there’s snow on my blog again like there is on WordPress every year. But yeah, have a good one.

NaBloPoMo Day 4: Not Yet Christmas

The run up to Christmas seems to be getting earlier every year.

Last week when I was in the Trafford Centre they had already decked the place out with decorations, lights and a Christmas tree. They had their Christmas lights switch on last Thursday – yep, the day before Halloween. Manchester’s Christmas lights are being switched on this Friday. The town hall already has the Father Christmas that looks an awful lot like how Zippy from Rainbow would look in a Santa suit is already up. Meanwhile Primark have had Christmas jumpers on sale since mid-November and some card shops have had Christmas cards on sale even before that. Oh and the Christmas films are already being shown on the movie channels, there’s even a whole channel that shows them 24 hours a day.

It’s enough to make you want to scream.

I don’t have a problem with Christmas itself, Christmas is ace. It’s just that I don’t really want to be thinking about it, or seeing any reference to it before the last week of November at the earliest. I don’t want to see Christmas trees up in October and certainly don’t want to see cards and selection boxes on sale before pumpkins and fireworks. I don’t want endless adverts on TV telling me about getting a new sofa in time for Christmas. Who on Earth wants a sofa for Christmas anyway, apart from maybe a few who want to get one from a particular furniture chain in order to get a free cuddly toy sloth?

Besides which, I have two family birthdays and my parents’ anniversary occurring between now and Christmas.

30 Blogs of November: Day 8 – The John Lewis Christmas Advert


The John Lewis Christmas advert has become as much a part of the run  up to the 25th of December as the Coca Cola  “Holidays are coming” advert and the latter stages of the X Factor. Such an event it has become that teasers for this year’s ad, showing a bear fast asleep,  have been popping up in virtually every break on ITV,  complete with  the now obligatory twitter hashtag (this one being #sleepingbear, of course).

The advert gets its TV premiere tomorrow night on ITV, during one of the X Factor ad breaks.  It’s said that the whole of that particular ad break (around 8:10pm) will be taken up by it – yes people, it’s that big a TV event.  But if you can’t wait for it, or just don’t want to watch XF to catch it, John Lewis has already put the full advert up online. And it is pretty special.  The company have clearly pulled out all the stops for this, hiring animators who have worked for Disney to create the tale of The Bear and The Hare. The style of the animation reminds me a lot of Watership Down and The Animals of Farthing Wood, which is a very good thing. To top it all off, it is soundtracked by a version of Keane’s classic anthem Somewhere Only We Know performed by Lily Allen which, I have to admit, I am not entirely sure about. I guess it is because I know and love the original so much, but fair play to her for giving it a bash anyway.

Most of all, the advert captures the spirit of Christmas perfectly. The cynics and Scrooges of social media will no doubt maul it and take the mick out of it (and some already have), but you know what? Screw them.  This is one of the loveliest things I have seen for some time and if your heart isn’t the slightest bit warmed by it, then you probably don’t have one.

Yes I am a softie and I am not  ashamed.


Happy Christmas

It’s Christmas Eve. I’ve raced round both Tesco and Asda today in a last-minute rush for food shopping (we’re all sorted, however I think we got more brussels sprouts than is probably legal). I’ve managed to wrap the presents I bought before midnight (a first for me) and am currently sat in front of the TV watching Text Santa. I’ve donated, if only in the hope we don’t hear the cast of The Only Way Is Essex sing again (or not, as the case most likely is. Whatever, their version of Last Christmas is not good).

Anyway, this blog is basically just to wish you all a very happy Christmas. May you all have a fantastic day, get some nice presents and stuff yourselves stupid.  And as a little present to you reader, I have compiled a Spotify playlist of Christmas songs. I challenged myself to make a list of songs without having any of the big songs in (you know the ones). However I did fail a little by putting Fairytale of New York in it. Anyway, if you do have Spotify , you can check out the list I made by clicking this link  Christmas playlist . If you happen to not have it, I’ve put some of the songs on here as well, to give you an idea of what’s on it (trying to cater for everyone here).

Here’s a few for you:

Smith & Burrows – When The Thames Froze:

The Wombats – Is This Christmas?

The Darkness – Christmas Time (Don’t Let The Bells End)

Have a good one readers.

About A Bear

Here’s the story, I was in a well known card shop a few days ago when I got asked at the counter if I would like to buy a teddy bear. It was one of those promotions whereby if you spend a certain amount you can get the item for a special price. I said yes, as I thought that it would come in handy as a present for someone. I found out later on that my mum had the same idea for the same person a few weeks earlier, and had picked out the same bear that I did (there was a choice of two).
Obviously it would be pretty embarrassing if they were given the same present twice, so in the end, I decided that I might as well keep it for now. It is a nice teddy bear, very soft and has a nice face. And I did pay for it after all. The only thing he needs now is a name. I have been reluctant to give him one until now as I didn’t know what I was doing with him but now I’ve thought of keeping him I can’t decide what to call him. Any suggestions readers?

The teddy I got from a well known card shop

The teddy I got from a well known card shop

Christmas is coming…

And before you ask, no I don’t know what I want yet. Well, there are one or two things that I would like, but I’m thinking that they would be pretty impossible to get. Plus Father Christmas would probably have great difficulty getting down the chimney with it. But seriously, the older you get, the harder it is to give anyone any suggestions. A friend of mine likes to start texting me for ideas in September, and then every week from the first week of November. Thing is, whenever I ask her what she wants, she doesn’t know either.

To be honest, I don’t mind too much if I don’t get everything I ask for. Having a birthday one and a half months after Christmas means that if I don’t get everything on that day I might get it for my birthday. I kind of prefer getting the stuff I really want on birthdays anyway. Does make it a bit more special.

One thing’s for sure, nowadays it is far more easier to buy presents what with internet shopping and everything. Well, it’s easier when you know what you’re getting people. Play.com and Amazon are proving to be a godsend at the moment. I’ve already got most of my mum’s presents, a couple for my nephew and one for that aforementioned friend (you get to a point where you just get what you think they will like. It’s the thought that counts). I think I will probably spend more online this year than I have any other year, but I aim to make a few actual shopping trips too, because nothing still beats going around shops looking for stuff. Even when the weather’s cold. And the shops are extremely busy.  And you’re having to dodge people with those ginormous prams that block half the shop. As well as those who don’t have a fucking clue where they’re going.  And those who don’t look where they’re going because they are on their bloody phones.  Not to mention being slowly driven insane by THOSE songs being played in every single place you enter.

Don’t you just love it?


A Christmas Message.

Hello. So it is Christmas Eve as I write this. I have just spent a full eight-hour day at work (no getting off early for the likes of me), there is still plenty of snow about outside and I still haven’t wrapped all of my Christmas presents. I know what you’re thinking, “GET OFF YOUR BLOODY NETBOOK AND GET ON WITH YOUR PRESENT WRAPPING!” – well, I only have about three to do and they won’t take long.  Plus I’ve not been on my computer for the last couple of days (see, I have been working hard on all levels).

Anyway, I thought I would take time out from all the pre-Christmas shenanigans to wish you all a very Happy Christmas. I hope you get all the presents you want – and if you don’t, remember it’s the thought that counts. Just hope that the person who gave it to you has  got a gift receipt.

Have a good one! 🙂