At the time of writing this, I am four days away from having a job interview. An interview with a big company, for something that I have long wanted to do, in an industry I’ve long wanted to get into.
I’m excited, but also nervous. And scared. Very scared.
It’s not just an interview I face. There will be two assessments I have to do, one being a group exercise, which is making me more nervous than I would be any other time. I know, I should be able to get through that part by now, seeing as I encounter strangers practically every day as part of my current job and everybody else will be in the same boat as me anyway. It’s just that even now, I still find it awkward working with people I don’t know, engaging with them and stuff. I fear I’ll clam up, sit there and feel like an utter idiot while everyone else is coming up with these amazing ideas. I feel like I’ll do the same when the actual interview happens, or I’ll stumble over my words, forget everything I want to say or say something completely stupid. I’ll either walk out of the building with pride and feeling like I have done enough, or dawdle out of it feeling ready to fall into the nearest hole. I fear the latter.
And yet, I should be happy that I got to this stage. Granted I would have been happy just to get as far as the first stage of my application. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy that I got an interview, it is just that as it has got nearer and I have found out exactly what it will entail, it’s just becoming all too real. It’s great, but it’s also utterly nerve-wracking. You’re on the one hand ecstatic while on the other you’re crapping yourself. Like the feeling I’ve had before every interview, but about ten times more scary.
I’m hoping that in a few days time I’ll look at this post and call myself daft for writing it. But more importantly, I’m hoping to get to my interview without getting lost.
Over the last week or so I have been trying to create a new version of my CV. The last time I had to do this was about eight or nine years ago, when I was looking for a job after graduation. In the end I didn’t need it as I filled out application form for my job instead, but I always kept at least two versions of it on file, just in case.
The other day I tried to find my previous versions on one of my memory sticks. When I did find them through the other bits of junk that seem to have cluttered my portable drives, I was a bit disappointed with what I saw. Either I had lost my original versions, hadn’t backed them up from my old computer, or the ones that I had were a bit, well, not very good. They had all the basic information, of course, but if I was a prospective employer and had to read it, well I am not sure if my CV would have been entirely screaming “HIRE ME I’M GOOD!” at them. So from the versions I had, and the notes I had made from previously searching for CV advice, I decided to set about making a new one. And I must say, I am not enjoying it one bit.
I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m having trouble finding the right words for it, or the fact that Microsoft Works has the shittiest CV templates ever, but I am really struggling to put a decent one together. It would be much easier if you could just tell someone that you’re interested in a job, then just give them a link to your blog or whatever, but then again that could probably give them a load of reasons not to give you a job, if you know what I mean. It almost makes you think “why bother even looking for another job?” And yet, I really want to find something else. A CV shouldn’t be so hard to do, hell I’ve been through college and university, I’ve written 10,000 word essays. Why should a two page article that essentially sells yourself to a company looking for new staff be such a pain?
And why am I writing all this on here?