Hurry up

As we get into the last days of 2016, I’m just waiting for it to hurry up and be over with. Not that I think that 2017 will definitely be better mind, I’m just thinking that we could all do with a break from everything that’s gone on this year.

Whatever does happen though, I am determined to handle it a lot better than I did this year. Unliking all those news pages I had on Facebook was a good start. Next I’m going to unfollow and/or block/mute all the news pages and general accounts that seem to be spouting nothing but negativity. I’m done with feeling hopeless and angry about everything I read and hear. I know, it would probably be better to just get off the internet, if only it was easy to do that.

I guess I just want to feel a bit of hope from somewhere and I definitely want to feel a bit more positive about my life and stuff. I’m sure we all want to go into the new year feeling that.

 

Just looking.

This afternoon, in an attempt to be productive while on annual leave I looked at jobs and courses on the internet. I searched all across the areas that I was interested in, both the part time and full time, the permanent and the temporary, all in the hope that there would be something interesting that would stand out to me (and in the case of any courses, relatively cheap).

The more I looked the more I realised that any job that I was even remotely interested in was either (a) too far away or (b) wanted experience which I did not have. When I looked even more, I realised that there was nothing which I could potentially have the skills for that stood out to me at all. It was then that I wondered whether I really have any idea of what I want at all. I mean, I want to get out of my current job I know that, but what do I want to go to? And even once I know what I want, do I feel like I have a chance of getting it? The last couple of times I applied for something I thought I could get, I didn’t. The last job I applied for I didn’t get an interview. In fact I didn’t get anything bar an email from the employer acknowledging that they had received my application form. Have I stayed in my current position too long to be able to escape it?  Or should I just forget about all this because I’m on holiday and I should be blocking all thoughts of work out of my head?

I guess my mind is not in the right mode for this sort of thing right now.

Am I a Loser?

Yeah okay, I might be  a  loser.

I love my Nintendo 3DS. I have Pokemon battles with my nephew. I am addicted to Animal Crossing New Leaf and I get upset when one of my villagers leaves (you do get attached to them after a while).

I still like to collect soft toys, especially those of famous characters.

I am still far happier reading comics than newspapers.

I still love watching cartoons, both those from when I was a kid and some of the ones from today.

I see no shame in wearing Spongebob socks, or owning slippers that feature Elmo’s face.

My taste in music might not be 100% as  “highbrow” as yours.

I also tend to find animated meerkats and robots that sell insurance, sofa flogging sloths and now a purple toad that loves Vimto adorably funny.

Some might say, “you need a boyfriend”. I’d have agreed with you at one time,until I realised that men didn’t need me as much as I needed them – not much.

But you know what? I don’t care, because the things that might make me a loser are the very things that I enjoy and make me happy.  Why would you give up the things you enjoy in order to appease others, so long as you’re not harming anyone?  I’d rather embrace my so-called “Loserness” than try to give in to ideas of what someone my age should be and like.

This week I have thought about:

1. Giving my CV  a massive overhaul

2. Dyeing my hair.

3. Buying a guitar.

4. Running away to London.

5. Digging out my old video camera and making vlogs.

6. Signing up for a writing course.

The reason why I haven’t actually done any of those things is because:

1. I’m on holiday and I don’t really feel like doing any career stuff at the minute.

2. The colour that I was interested in dyeing it is not available in any of the shops I’ve been in.

3. I should probably be saving my money for something else.

4. I am probably a bit too old to be running away anywhere.

5. Nobody wants to see my face or hear my voice on YouTube.

6. See reason 3.

It’s so easy to think about doing things. So much harder to go about doing them.

30 Blogs of November: Day 27 – A Quick One

Hello. I’ve not had much time to write a blog today. I’ve just got back from celebrating my nephew’s birthday at my sister’s house. He’s ten today. By God that came round quick. Only seems like yesterday that he came into the world.

Anyway, I am a bit full of pizza, cola and cake at the moment so I’ll come back tomorrow hopefully with something more.

Motivated

So I managed to complete and submit the job application I was doing the other week. It was pretty tough going towards the end, what with me having to rewrite stuff in the hours up to the deadline but I managed it- even if I thought I was writing a load of crap.
Something must have worked though, as a few days later I got an email telling me I had got through to the second stage of the application. I was happy, until I found out that the next stage was completing an online verbal reasoning test.

Verbal Reasoning Tests (or VRTs), are these timed assessments where you read a section of text and answer multiple choice questions on it. I think it’s supposed to test how well you understand it and I guess it’s something employers rely on to see how well potential employees understand instructions and stuff. The last time I did anything like this was when I did the 11 plus many years ago, so I wasn’t holding out much hope of being good at it. In the end, I think I did ok, however the last three questions were absolutely awful. I do wish we had a little bit longer than 15 minutes to complete it though.
I don’t know yet if I have gone through to the next stage, however I guess it’s only a matter of time before I find out. I’m not building my hopes up, I know that there are plenty of other people out there who probably have a lot more experience than I do, but just to get as far as this is an achievement for me. Heck, to have actually submitted an application for something I’m interested in is an achievement alone! Whatever happens next, I feel good knowing that I have had a go and I feel ready to try and apply for others if any other opportunities come along.

Motivation

It’s something that I am going to need a fair bit of this week. And probably some inspiration as well.

I am back at work tomorrow after two weeks’ holiday (which I wish I had a bit longer of, as is always the case when you’ve been on leave for whatever reason). But it’s not getting myself back into the long boring work routine that I need it for.

While I was on holiday, I decided to go and apply for another job. A job in an area that I have long wanted to get into. Something that I can only apply for online (oh how wonderful the 21st century is). And that I have just over a week at the time of writing to submit.

I had already made a sort of start to it, but then I ended up not focusing on it for a few days as I was out seeing friends, going places with my mum, sister and nephew and generally enjoying my time off. Now that I have a chance to go back to it, I am finding it hard to concentrate on it. So much that I am now writing a blog post about it.

The application process itself is quite straightforward, I read it all and understand what I need to do. I’ve even followed the company on twitter as they’ve been giving out advice to applicants on it. There’s just one bit of it that concerns me – the part where they give you questions and you have to write 300 word answers for them. This shouldn’t really pose too much of a problem for someone with a uni degree. It’s just that, I am a little out of practice with writing these sorts of things, where you show your ideas and demonstrate your knowledge of stuff. They sound like the sort of exercises I would have done as part of my degree or A Levels. 

The other thing I am concerned about is time. I work full-time and as soon as I get home from work I am not always in the mood to be doing a lot of stuff that requires me to engage my brain a lot. If I don’t feel like doing it one night, I’ll put it off until the following night, where I won’t do it again, and so on until I am panicking at the weekend trying to complete it (this is the sort of pattern that my disastrous attempt at NaNoWriMo followed minus the eventual panic).

And then, there are the potential distractions. Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, this…I am probably going to have to try hard to limit the amount of time I am on these for the next few days. Thus I am going to need some discipline too. I am not going to avoid these altogether, maybe just look at them inbetween working on it. Maybe write a post or two to try and clear my head of the stuff that’s irrelevant to my application.  Maybe these things will work, or they’ll just hamper my chances of getting it done.

Whatever, I’m going to give them as good as I have got.