New things

Recently new things have happened. I’m in a new house (rented, temporarily, while ours gets sorted out). I am a new age (it was my birthday the other day. Guess how old I am). I’ve been trying out new things and been considering options that I hadn’t really thought about until now.

I’ve been seriously thinking about making a particular change for a while. I’d been reading up on it online while feeling pretty down about where things were going for me, particularly job wise. I abandoned it for a bit until I saw a course on one of those online course sites that was on special offer. I signed up to it as I thought it might be helpful to improve skills and give a bit more of an idea of what it was I am interested in doing. The more I’ve read up on it, the more I feel like I could give it a go, if only just to make a bit of extra money in the first instance (yes I have read up on the tax things although I don’t expect to make shedloads of money from the start).

All I need really are the ideas and then I’ll be good to go… I think.

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I’m still rubbish at this stuff.

Here’s a question for you; how many times have you signed yourself up to something online, only for you to rarely, if ever, use it?

I’ve probably done it more times than I can remember. It often starts when I see some website promoted on social media or in a magazine (Web User FTW), thinking it sounds interesting, getting as far as logging in and setting up my profile. I’ll then probably log in about three times after that and then just completely forget about it.

The latest one of those sites I signed up to but haven’t really used is a site called vocal. It’s a “social publishing platform” – I guess that’s what they call websites that you can write and post articles to. I thought that it could help in getting me writing more often, but I still haven’t come up with anything decent. I guess if I’m not able to come up with any regular content on here, I don’t think that there’s much chance anywhere else, but it was worth a try.

What really did it  was when I saw the categories that articles on vocal are put under. There’s a number of sections, including a section for video games, pop culture, even one for poetry and while I know I could write something related to the topics on the site I don’t know how anything I write about could fit in. I should mention here as well that vocal is one of those sites where you can earn money for the amount of clicks an article gets and while my reason for joining was in no way at all to do with that (it would most likely be crap money anyway, if you earn anything at all), I was still interested to see if I could learn or gain any particular skill or feedback from doing it.

I might still go back on there and give it another try, until then maybe I should try to concentrate on upping my blog game.

I challenged myself to write this.

At this point in time I would be considering doing Nanowrimo or Nablopomo with them both starting in November. I decided a long time ago that writing a novel in thirty days wasn’t something I was good at keeping to after a disastrous attempt a couple of years back. And yet, there has always been that urge to try again once I’d come up with a decent idea. I had even bought a book on novel writing ages ago in the hope that it might inspire, but no ideas came and so I resolved never to touch that particular challenge again – well, at least for a year.

Nablopomo however, was an altogether easier challenge for me. Writing thirty blog posts in  thirty days was simple enough to do, even if half my posts were more “yes I’m still at it!” than posting anything that was planned or remotely meaningful. I was still writing something though, even if it was a lot of crap. Plus I regarded completing the challenge two years in a row as a big achievement, seeing as I often tend to give up on a lot of things.

This year however, I’m thinking about not doing Nablopomo at all. I don’t really feel like I can come up with a month’s worth of blog posts and even if I could, my heart wouldn’t be in it at all. The other occasions I did it, I really wanted to put more content on my blog. I really wanted to write stuff and actually  had things to share. I’d slacked a little in updating the site and in writing overall prior to doing the challenge and this was my way to get into the habit again. Nowadays any attempt to blog finds me writing one sentence before deleting it or saving it to drafts – that’s if it gets that far. I feel that if I was to do it again, I’d want to really plan what I’m doing and have the ideas there, but I don’t think I’d always have time to do that. I don’t want to post for the sake of posting, as it’s always pretty obvious when someone does that (I can see plenty of examples on my own blog, when I read them back).

Most of all, I want to enjoy doing it, and I’m not sure I will this time. Don’t ask me why.

Rubbish

You know how it is, you come on here with the intention of writing something and you end up just changing your blog’s theme instead. 

Really, I did want to post something on here today but I couldn’t come up with anything, which is pretty much the case here these days. It’s not that I have fallen out of love with blogging, it’s just that I don’t really have the chance to sit down and come out with anything decent. Plus when I do have something that I think could make a good entry, I write it down, get stuck for words and end up abandoning it. While I know I shouldn’t be frustrated and it’s something that you shouldn’t get frustrated about I am. I don’t what it says about me (something not good, I bet), but I just wish that I could devote more time to this and be able to have something to say, rather than just go through the motions or post some “I’m still here” post like this is turning out to be. 

I hate to say it, but maybe I am not finding this fun anymore after all.

CVs, Novels and general writing

Those are what I have been trying to do over the last few days.

I signed up to one of those websites where you can build your CV online for free. I’ve got as far as writing my name, address and where I went to school, college and uni.

I bought this workbook that helps you plan and write out a novel. It is really informative and generally helpful, but I am a bit scared of writing anything in it, as it is far too nice to have any of my scribblings written in it.  I just don’t want to wreck it, okay? Even though it is intended to be wrecked, I suppose.

I really want to make a go of things with both, but I can’t seem to get in the right mindset for either. Sure I am a bit more up for the former, given that I am now more determined than ever to change jobs, but I just can’t seem to get on with it.

Can someone please give me a kick up the arse? Or the online equivalent at least?

I tried to write something today.

Something good. Something witty and engaging.

This was as much as I could come up with.

I don’t know if it’s my age, or the effects of living in the real world that has slowly killed off the creativity in me but I can’t seem to be able to write stuff as easily these days. When I was younger I used to write loads of stuff. The amount of stories I had, both finished and unfinished, clutter the pages of tons of notebooks I’ve had from childhood to young adulthood. My youthful imagination was awash with ideas. Some of them were utterly ridiculous, but who said all fiction had to be 100% realistic? Reality is rubbish anyway, most of the time.

I suppose some might  say it is wrong of me to force myself to write something, especially if there is nothing whatsoever in my head. You can’t make yourself be creative if the ideas are not there. But sometimes I feel if I don’t put a pen to paper or fingers on a keyboard, I’d go insane. Not entirely batshit crazy, but mad enough. Writing is the way I deal with stuff. It’s what I love doing and what I want to do with my life if I could. I’d rather do that as my work than waste my days in a workplace, the boredom of it all tearing apart my lonely and fragile soul. I guess I can dream.

Scribbling

I bought another notebook the other week.  I like notebooks, I have written about my liking of them before on here (I think it’s on this one anyway, go search for it). I must have loads of them at home, from various stages of my life, all full or half filled with stuff.

Why do I like notebooks? Probably because I like writing and have done for as long as I can remember. As a kid, you’d find me scribbling poems and stories in a cheap Woolworths notepad. Some of those stories would be left unfinished – OK, nearly all of them would be, but I enjoyed doing it.

These days, I still enjoy being able to empty my head of all the thoughts I am carrying onto paper. Even in this digital age with twitter and all that, I still prefer to jot my thoughts and ideas in a notebook. Whenever my brain is buzzing with an idea which won’t go away, it goes in the book. Granted, some of it will be nonsense, and some of it will have been written when I have been a bit emotional, but through all the ramble you could find something that is worthy of developing into something. In fact, a lot of my blog posts have come out of writing a paragraph in a page of one. I guess randomly writing stuff, reading it back later on and spotting stuff that could be developed is a technique that works for me. That said, there are times that I write stuff in a notebook or diary which I would rather not read ever again. Be glad none of that turns up on here or any other corner of the internet I lurk in.